Sunday, 19 October 2014

A message to my daughter - Letter of a fearfull father

My Dear Daughter

I am so excited to see you grow but yet again the chills on my back as I realise that one day you will not be the little girl I can hold close and protect paralyses me. I realise that the only thing a father can do for his daughter is prepare her for what life will bring, but even that has no guarantees that she will choose right and be safe. I realise that what i want for your life may not be what you want for yourself and that it may disappoint me but that cannot stop me from  hoping. 

Every time I see you excited and running around jubilant I want to take that and put it in a jar close it tight and put it away for the day you are feeling sad then I can give it to you and bring you a smile, just like how my grand mother use to do with fruits. I watch you colouring in your book with such a sparkle in your eye and I want to preserve that love of books so as to guarantee your future. 

I see when you look at me how proud you are of me and i don't want to blow your bubble but daddy is not perfect baby, I have made so much mistakes in life and have hurt others, you will realise this as you work to bring your siblings together and reconcile. I want you to know who you are, appreciate and love yourself. One day you will grow up and love someone don't expect them to be like your Daddy, don't measure them to the love and successes of your father, they have their own challenges to overcome. If I ever fail you as a father don't direct your anger at him, let yourself feel something special whenever you can. I have had failures in relationships, probably it is the one area I have had most failures and I suppose more lessons learned. Don't ask from others what you cannot give, appreciate the little things they do for you as they are not obliged, In love respect and trust are not earned they are a gift you give, you will get your heart broken once or twice maybe thrice that is no reason to give up, your relationship is not your friend's so don't leave choices to them, take time to think of something before you say it words hurt more than anything. One day when you have met someone i will have a chat with him, I will tell him how difficult it is to please a Princess, to love a prima donna, encourage him to never use his fist but heart, to focus more on his actions than put too much attention on words.

My little baby.... the world is not disney world, not everyone wants to see you smile, there will be much older man wanting to prey on you run, there will be unfocused young boys who wants to deflower you preserve yourself, don't stay because you have no choice fight. You are going to make so much mistakes and feel ashamed but never hide away from me because i love you just the way you are and will protect you with all my might. As years go I will be old fashioned, boring and a nag, know that is because i want the best for you. I have so much dreams and hopes for you, I wanna see you graduate, walk you down the isle, hold your little ones and watch you from above as you bury my body one day. Love yourself, stay alive, choose wisely.


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